Time Traveler Visits Present Day!
By Ed the Moose
Washington DC was the scene of mass excitement yesterday, as a time-traveler from the future appeared in a swirling show of lights. The traveler, named Frank Edwards, has traveled over eight weeks into the past, placing his "home time" well into December of this year. Edwards has been bombarded with questions asking what the future holds.
"There really isn't that much different...well, time-travel, but that's about it," commented a weary Edwards at a press-conference earlier.
Edwards has been unable to say much beyond vague generalities. Experts suspect that this is because he is afraid of disrupting the space-time continuum. Edwards, however, continues to assert that there isn't that much to say. "I never really paid attention to stocks, I guess they do ok. I still haven't seen the Superbowl, and I also don't remember the winning Powerball numbers. Sorry," replied Edwards to the constant questions.
"This is a momentous event in the history of humankind," said a joyous President Clinton, "we can now know with certainty the world will be a safe place for all, at least until mid-December." Experts suspect he said this because he is an idiot.
Back to Issue 4