Issue 4

Mission: Impossible

Star Wars Prequel Exclusive!

New Search Engine "Whoopie!" Introduced

Zit Activists Move To Ban Oxecution

Time Traveler Visits Present Day

Beach Boys Offer Solution To Global Economic Crisis

Latest Medical Study Findings

Asleep At The Wheel

Don't Even Think About It

Senioritis Setting In

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Senioritis Setting In

By Ragin' Hormone
I know what you are all saying out there. "Isn't this article being published too early?" "Isn't it supposed to come out sometime in April or May?" Well you're wrong; not this year. This year, for many students, senioritis has appeared and seems to be spreading. Beware and protect yourself against it.

Students have been heard whining in the halls, "I took too many hard classes this year." Many of this year's seniors opted to take the hard classes, not realizing that hard really meant hard and challenging. "We thought it would look good on college resumes." What little we know. Challenge Seminar is really challenging. Still, many of us are still trying to slink by. The other side of this is the people who were infected by this malignant disease in about February of last year. You know who I am talking about. Pretty much anyone taking chef foods. You know who you are.

Students have started turning in papers late. Not reading their English assignments because we are watching the video anyways: the easiest way to get out of reading. We all want to get the hell out of here. The dropping of classes has already begun. It is catching and I am afraid I may already have it. Please, don't let it get you. Mr. Hays is Cool!

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