Issue 4

Mission: Impossible

Star Wars Prequel Exclusive!

New Search Engine "Whoopie!" Introduced

Zit Activists Move To Ban Oxecution

Time Traveler Visits Present Day

Beach Boys Offer Solution To Global Economic Crisis

Latest Medical Study Findings

Asleep At The Wheel

Don't Even Think About It

Senioritis Setting In

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Zit Activists Move To Ban Oxecution

By Sleeping Disorder
Defending the rights of skin blemishes everywhere, activists for the rights of zits have recently made a plea for a worldwide ban against oxecution. According to spokespersons of this campaign, "The global Oxy 10 super corporation is spreading its anti-zit propaganda, encouraging teens to simply 'Oxecute 'Em.' As a result, each year millions of pimples, zits, craters and blackheads are oxecuted without trial. Oxecution is cruel and barbaric, let alone a violation of international chemical warfare restrictions. We will not stand for this facial cleansing."

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