Issue 3

Local Homeless Person Sells Out, Gets Job

Bertorello Sightings On The Rise

"Happy Drinking Bird" Makes Strong Bid
For President In 2000

Cannibals Riot At Body Shop

Pirate Activists Speak Out

Domes Commissioner Honored

Love That Beeshu!

Where The Hell Is Club K-Swiss?

Schoolrats (Uncensored)

Back To Volume Two

Back To The Front Page

Domes Commissioner Honored

By Sleeping Disorder
The commissioner of climate control at Milwaukee's Mitchell Park Domes, John Mitchum, was honored this week for his ground breaking work at Wauwatosa East High School. Mitchum was awarded a plaque for "Outstanding Achievement In Diverse Climate Control" after he made the technology of the Domes work for a high school.

"It's quite simple, really," commented Mitchum. "By using the same method of major temperature variation as in the Domes, I have made some rooms at Tosa East abnormally warm and others extremely cold, thus preserving the unique biological ecosystem of the high school."

Mitchum also announced future plans of bringing in polar bears and Eskimos to Mr. Oloisia's room, to "create a feel more suited to that environment."

Back to Issue 3