Issue 4

Scott Schneider
The Atom:
Fact Or Fiction?
Atoms Exist
Miss Plath Is
Obsessed With
Opinion Poll
The 6th
Spice Girl

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Student Spotlight: Scott Schneider

By Newman
This Friday marks the opening night of the 'Tosa East Players' production of The Foreigner. However, we here at The Underground don't concern ourselves with things like "art," and "drama," and "journalism," so we decided to show the rest of the world the true Tosa East Playa, Scott Schneider. I recently sat down with Scott to talk about school, pimpin' it, and just being a hardcore mack.

N: First the basics. What clubs and activities are you in?

S: Band, jazz, Mu Alpha Theta, National Honor Society, Spanish Honor Society and golf. Oh, can't forget IBA, baby. My team's going undefeated.

N: Wow, all that and still time to turn out the hoes. What college are you planning on going to?

S: I'm torn between Harvard and ITT Tech.

N: I say go for Harvard. I see you as more of an Ivy League Pimp. By the way, how do you keep your bitches in line?

S: I always keep a bunch of singles in my wallet. And sure, I could be an Ivy League Pimp, but I don't go for the fame or the glory, it's just not my style. I'm more of a pulling-the-strings, behind-the-scenes kind of guy. My puppets do the dirty work.

N: How about your favorite TV show or movie? Have you seen Def Jam's "How To Be A Player"?

S: As for TV, I don't have time for it (you know, turning out the hoes). And I directed "How To Be A Player".

N: Really? Cool. I'm Bill Bellamy's cousin. He's a nice guy. Just curious, do you prefer the term 'Mack Daddy,' or 'Daddy Mack'?

S: I am most definately, without question, a Mack Daddy kind of guy.

N: One final question, what advice would you give to the young players out there?

S: Three words: Always remember protection.

(This segment, which may or may not have been written by an Underground writer, may or may not include some, all, or none of the actual words of Scott Schneider in an interview that may or may not have taken place.)

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