Issue 4

Student
Spotlight:
Scott Schneider
The Atom:
Fact Or Fiction?
Atoms Exist
Dammit!
Conspiracy
Corner
Miss Plath Is
Obsessed With
Sex
Editorial
Photo
Opinion Poll
The 6th
Spice Girl


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Miss Plath Is Obsessed With Sex

By Shooter
On August 26, I was welcomed to the wonderful world of Miss Plath. I would rather like to leave now.

I will not endeavor to attack her physical appearance, but I have one suggestion. Enough with the sex already! She slyly transforms any mild discussion into one about sex. While discussing Shakespeare, for example, she casually comments that King James II was bisexual. Off color? Perhaps a bit.

This unabashed disposition also carries into discussion of novels. When discussing relations between characters in a story, she utilizes such classy phrases as "get her in the sack," and "get hot and horny with the prince." At this point, terminology like "taking the fishing boat to tuna town" would not offend nor surprise me. In the meantime, I believe more flighty novels about lust and sex are in order.

You have to forgive my desire to not discuss sex with Miss Plath. The truth is this: Miss Plath is good. Sex is better. But they are separate, and as far as I'm concerned, never the twain shall meet.

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