Issue 4

Scott Schneider
The Atom:
Fact Or Fiction?
Atoms Exist
Miss Plath Is
Obsessed With
Opinion Poll
The 6th
Spice Girl

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Issue 4

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Conspiracy Corner: Cheese

By M. F. Luder
Hey, this is nice. I'm used to being stuck on the back page of the paper like some discarded piece of trash; now that I've finally reached the front page, I plan to take a stand on something: school lunches.

I know many of you have lamented over the loss of cheese on the salads in the lunch line, (I've been forced to buy the nacho cheese and use that as a salad dressing instead of the Creamy Italian. Dressing that is.), because the school board spin doctors say that cheese contains far. However, the lack of cheese on the ham and CHEESE sandwich is too much. The lunch Nazis limit you to one healthy meal at a time, it is almost as if they are afraid of us being too healthy; you can only be so healthy.

Has the egg council gotten to the school board and are they preparing to replace all the cheese with egg products, or has Mr. Hays been bought by California dairy interests whose only goal is to destroy the Wisconsin dairy industry and then run the state like demigods. Maybe Bill Gates is extending his reign of terror from his usual donuts and stolen software that doesn't work to school food.

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