By the Ghost of Newman
I don't know about you, but I'm feeling inspired right about now. Oh sure, I used to be like all of you, living out every day of my humdrum life in perpetual depression, hoping that each fire alarm wasn't a drill. But then, one day walking through the halls, I noticed a poster on the wall that said, "I can make a difference." "Wow!," I thought to myself. "Maybe I can make a difference!" It wasn't long before more of these posters popped up, with their inspirational messages giving me a will to live again.

"Every day is an opportunity to learn something new. Don't miss out!"
"Never, ever sell yourself short."
"Winners don't set limits, they set goals."

Suddenly, I was living life to its fullest. My phone was ringing off the hook with calls from Fortune 500 companies' CEOs, who, having heard of my new 'can-do' attitude, were offering me executive positions left and right. One problem still plagued me however. I would always wait until the last minute to do things such as return calls from Bill Gates, do the IRP and feed my cats.

I didn't know what to do... until I saw the sign that proclaimed, "Don't procrastinate, tackle your assignments promptly!" Now I'm doing today what I could be putting off until tomorrow thanks to that little proclamation of pure genius. So quit selling yourself short, set some goals, and let's go out and make a difference! Doggone it, people like me!

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