Issue 2

Special Report:
Calculus Is Hard
Hurricanes Blow!
Super Happy
Fun Quiz
Opinion Poll

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issue two - october 14 1997

Special Report: Calculus Is Hard

On Tuesday, after months of research, scientists at MIT have determined that calculus is, in fact, hard.

Hurricanes Blow!

It's The Super Happy Fun Quiz!

Conspiracy Corner - The Underground Papers

Editorial - It's Too Damn Cold In This School

Photo Opinion Poll - What Is Up With The Temperature In This School?


Last week, an article mistakenly read, "Everybody go out and rape someone over the age of innocence." It should have read, "Everybody go out and hug your mom."

We regret any inconvience this may have caused.

Newman's Notes:
Issue two was the first issue to receive widespread recognition of its ass-kicking ability. "Calculus Is Hard" started the popularity in that classroom that would later lead to 15% of the issues being distributed in that one class alone. What really created the stir with this issue is something that's not on the online version: the Sarah Jane Guralski quote that read, "I don't know any big words." Actually said by Sarah Jane during a Physics class, this was a typical Underground moment. Most people thought that this was quite the mean or harsh thing to do, when Newman actually called Sarah Jane before printing it to make sure she knew about it. The print version of this issue also featured a scathing criticism of the Wednesday Edition, an awful underground paper that didn't come out with any more issues after they were attacked by The Underground.

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