Teacher Grows New "Stache" For Upcoming Hollywood Film

By Cannibal Jake
During the last three months, Tri-Star Pictures® has sent out crews to find hip new actors to star in their newest feature film. After touring Wisconsin, Tri-Star found their new star. Mr. Wayne Pollnow, a Wauwatosa East math teacher and lunch supervisor, was hand picked out of a group of over one million men to take a screen test for Tri-Star's next flick, Canadian Bacon II. Three weeks ago, Mr. Pollnow flew down to Hollywood to take his screen test and the film's director had one thing to say.

"Wayne, with his great looks and keen sense of humor, bears a great resemblance to John Candy. There was just one problem: He had no mustache." Due to the big bucks and new sneaker deals, Mr. Pollnow had only one choice. With his new "stache", the Tri-Star film crew is ready to start shooting the movie, but because of his Hollywood hook-ups, Pollnow was able to hold off filming until the summer, so as not to interrupt his teaching. When this reporter saw the new facial hair, he had only one thing to say: "Way to go, Wayne!"

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