Issue 12

Fight The Power
White Male
History Month
Joe Wong
Funniest Home
Videos Shows
10,000th Hit
To Groin
Top Ten Reasons
To Become A
Cardinal Newsie
Oliver Sucks
Wu-Tang Is For
The Children

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Issue 12

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Wu-Tang Is For The Children

By Dr. Frank
Several weeks ago we all bore witness to a truly moving experience during the Grammy's. No, I'm not talking about when Celine Dion stopped singing, I'm talking about the heartfelt speech given by Old Dirty Bastard regarding the pain he felt about not winning the best rap performance.

"Wu-Tang is for the children," Old Dirty announced during the show.

While there are those who say nay to Wu-Tang's educational value, I've done an extensive study to demonstrate that Wu-Tang really is for the children. Just some of my findings:

Wu-Tang pay massive props to women: It's true, despite the fact that the Wu-Tang Clan consists of nine men, ODB went out of his way to dedicate three of the songs on Wu-Tang Forever to "all you b*tches."

Wu-Tang teaches acceptable social practices: The beginning of "The City" demonstrates that smoking marijuana around cops is generally not an accepted practice. "A Better Tomorrow" tells the children that you can't "party your life away."

Wu-Tang delivers fashion tips: Method Man protects children against bad hair days by warning that herb can get your "wig fried like a bad perm."

Wu-Tang is a good history lesson: It's true. After listening to songs like "Reunited" and "Triumph," kids will be looking up the likes of Caligula, Osiris, and Socrates in their encyclopedias.

Wu-Tang does what no algebra teacher has ever done: They teach the children of the world to use mathematics as a tool.

There are many more incidents of educational Wu-Tang, but it is my sincere hope that upon reading this article and see Wu-Tang for what they truly are: an educational supplement. Who knows, maybe listening to the Clan could boost your SAT score 100 points. The next time that someone tells you that Wu-Tang is for the children, know that they speak the truth.

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