By Baliverne
So I'm drivin', right, and this cop pulls me over. OK, so I nearly shit in my pants, (and let me tell you, that would not be a good idea, because one more shit in the pants and mom's gonna kill me). So the cop comes up to my window and before he can say anything, I try to be witty and say, "I'll have a large Coke, two cheeseburgers, and a small fries." Well, lines like that aren't witty, because they are open invitations for cops to make you 'walk the line.' So I'm thinking, "OK you fat-assed Dirty Harry wannabe," and he says "What?" because I'm a dumbass and said it out loud.

Well, to make a long story short, after the body cavity search I'm sitting in jail because the guns I was "smuggling" for my "grandma" weren't quite as concealed as I thought. So I'm in jail now, and I'm forced to be someone's "girlfriend" and I'm being traded for a pack of smokes as we speak.

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