Super Happy Fun Quiz II
(Answers at the bottom of the page.)
1. Math: God decides to play a trick on the universe and makes 1 = 2 for a day. On this day, what does 1 + 1 equal?
2. Chemistry: Mr. Swenson sets ten students on fire per day. If it takes 100 mL of gasoline or 50 mL of ethanol to ignite a student, the lab has 1.4 L of ethanol left, and Mr. Swenson's car is almost on empty, between which hours will Mr. Swenson have to go to the gas station and fill 'er up?
3. Evil: x = 665. Find x + 1.
4. Cinema: "Titanic" makes $70 million on its first weekend. Every following week, it makes 4% less money than the week before. 12 weeks after "Titanic," "The Man in the Iron Mask" opens, and makes $40 million in its opening weekend, decreasing by 7% each week. Is Leonardo DiCaprio gay?
5. Ecology: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
6. Probability: A lottery game has you pick six numbers, each with 40 possible numbers to choose from. A number can not be repeated. If matching all six numbers gets you $10,000,000, matching five gets you $500,000, and matching four gets you $2000, what are your chances of winning anything at all?
7. Education: Mr. Fiet writes equations at a rate of 100 fiet/sec. (The "fiet" is the standard unit for Calculus teaching.) If Mr. Fiet drains pens at a rate of five pens per hour, and in one particular class he drains three pens, how many fiet have his students absorbed?
8. Philosophy: What is love?
9. Meteorology: On April 24, at 8:10 AM, Andy Capes gets an A on a Calculus exam, at 6:57 PM, John Roberts gets a date, and at 4:30 PM, the Cardinal News finishes their paper a whole hour before the absolute-latest-possible deadline. At what time does the temperature in Hell fall below 32 degrees Fahrenheit?
10. Music: a) Does Mase get the ladies? b) Does Puff drive Mercedes?
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Super Happy Fun Quiz II Answers
2. Teachers have cars? I thought they just lived at school.
3. 666. (ominous sounding music)
4. Well, I heard he was bi.
6. Very small. If you want to throw your money away, sponsor an issue of The Underground.
7. 216,000 fiet.
8. I don't know, but for $10, M. F. Luder's mom can give you a little taste of lovin'.
9. At 12:48 PM, when Mr. Streff runs out of things to say.
10. a) Yeah yeah. b) Yeah yeah.
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