Issue 14

Entire Graduating
Class To Attend
I Think I'll Wear
My Sandals
Super Happy
Fun Quiz II
Local Student
Beaten Senseless
Taxes Suck
Pope Condemns

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Issue 14

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Entire Graduating Class To Attend University Of Wisconsin-Madison

By Newman
Higher education reached a new low Monday, as school officials announced that the entire Class of 1998 at Wauwatosa East High School had officially committed to attending the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

This announcement surprised few, however, as Tosa East grads have been steadily funneling into the UW system for years now. In 1995, 85% of the graduates attended UW-Madison. In 1996, the number was 92%. Last year, everyone but one student attended the University of Wisconsin. That student, Dan Rourke, who goes to Miami of Ohio, is set to transfer to Madison next year.

Administrators at the University of Wisconsin-Madison announced that they were taking special measures to accommodate the 320 graduating seniors from Tosa East. The university is forming a special "College of Wauwatosa East," which Tosa alums will automatically be placed in. In this college, Tosa East grads will only have classes with each other, and will not have to mingle with the scary, outside world. All the classes will be held in one building which they will not be allowed to leave during the day, and students will have seven, 50-minute classes.

The new Tosa East - West dean said he was very pleased to have the students attending, and looked forward to seeing them bright and early at 8:00 a.m., Monday through Friday, or else they would get a detention.

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