Underground Writers Use Last Satiric Headline
|Underground writers Newman, M. F. Luder, and The Regulator announced that they were ending The Underground today, due to an exhaustion of sarcastic headlines.
Second Human Brain Discovered
Library Seized In Fascist Coup
Paint [The Library] Black
The Cardinal News Concedes!
Yes, I know, there aren't many articles there this week. But the ones that we do have are pretty good, and pretty soon we won't have anything but online-only issues for the next three months due to school not being in and all. So quit complaining, because now, as a loyal Underground Online reader, is your chance to write something for us. Email firstname.lastname@example.org if you're interested.
The concept of "library facsism" was actually around since the very first issue, but was not published until the last issue because I wanted to be able to use the library. This issue features both my "Library Seized In Fascist Coup" article and The Penguin's "Paint [The Library] Black," because he sponsored this issue. Equally hilarious are M. F. Luder's "The Cardinal News Concedes!" which puts the dagger in the heart of the Newsies, The Regulator's "Second Human Brain Discovered" which contains the unforgettable phrases "blood-engorged member" and "testicular debris," and Last Satiric Headline, a relic left over from some articles written by Newman in Switzerland around Easter. As Mrs. Barrington let me go with her English class to the third floor again on the last day of school, she told me that after she read this issue she wished she had given me a special Quill & Scroll award. You certainly couldn't have wished for a better last issue of the year.
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