Issue 17

Writers Use Last
Satiric Headline
Second Human
Brain Discovered
Library Seized In
Fascist Coup
Paint [The
Library] Black
The Cardinal
News Concedes!

Back To
Issue 17

Back To The
Second Human Brain Discovered

By The Regulator
In a startling discovery that rocked the world of militant feminism, scientists researching the long-term effects of the new wonder drug "Viagra" have discovered a new small organ within the male genitalia closely resembling a small human brain.

This discovery was made when an old, fat, balding, male volunteer was injected with an extremely potent dose of the new wonder drug. In the space of a few minutes, the volunteer became excited. So excited, in fact, that not long after he obtained an erection, his ultra-engorged member exploded. Amongst the blood and testicular debris, researchers unexpectedly found bits of grayish matter. This was later found to be nerve tissue; it was deemed indistinguishable from normal human brain matter.

Further tests revealed that indeed, when this "second brain" is nourished with increased blood flow, it exerts considerable influence over the behavior of males. In fact, 99 out of 100 test subjects yielded complete control of their actions to their second brains. The one, a Mr. Lee Pertl, showed little if any difference when on the drug. Scientists attribute this to the fact that Mr. Pertl's second brain is always in control of him anyway, and so any difference in behavior brought on by Viagra would be imperceptible.

So what does all this mean? Experts have concluded that this new information proves, without a doubt, that men are not responsible in the least for their actions when sexual harassment takes place. The second brain is always the culprit. A legislative meeting is scheduled for next Thursday to discuss when the laws against sexual harassment will be revoked.

Back to Issue 17