Issue 5

Raises The Roof
Naming Rights
The Joys Of
Flicker Fever
I Have A
Drum Machine

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Issue 5

Back To The
Flicker Fever

By Headhunter
If you haven't noticed, the recent outbreak of ruckus at Tosa East is flicker fever. This has been brought on by the contagious nature of flicking green and orange gizmos all over the place.

At the same time, the latest crackdown on our freedom to have fun by the school is handing out suspensions for students caught creating this particular ruckus. This has made it all the more thrilling to let a good shot fly.

Mr. Hays once said, "That's middle school shit!" But in reality, it never became popular until it got here: Tosa East High School.

It is so very interesting how everybody hates flickers, but they all want to know how to shoot them. "I just want to be able to flick them back at the people who hit me," is the common excuse I hear. Bullshit. You like them for the same reason we do. One word: ruckus. Everybody likes to disturb the peace once in a while. No one can always be a straight shooter. Everyone needs an outlet, and this is a relatively harmless one, though becoming riskier.

The administration should feel lucky this is all we do. Remember the stinkbomb in Ms. Harris's class two years ago? Flickers could have prevented this!

The point is, no matter what the consequences are, students will eventually rebel just for the sake of mixing it up. Flicker fever is just one way we have come together to cause ruckus.

Many of the flicker kingpins have been busted already, but you can't catch three quarters of the school. You may think this outbreak of mad flicking has been brought under control, but to the dismay of many, and joy of many more, we have just been laying low until the opportunity exists.

If you feel upset about this recent craze of flicker fever, you may blow off some steam by dialing 1-800-BLO-WMEE or talk to your favorite administrator; just don't be surprised if a sharpshooter sends a warning shot right past your nose.

But if you're not a flicker-hater, continue to shoot with pride and precision. Just keep it on the down-low. (And remember, flickers are best when 'recycled' - like a present laying on the ground - just for you!)

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