Issue 5

Raises The Roof
Naming Rights
The Joys Of
Flicker Fever
I Have A
Drum Machine

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Issue 5

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I Have A Drum Machine

By Kesus
At this year's Battle of the Bands, everyone was a winner. They raised almost $200 for a new trophy case. What better place is there for the 'arts' than to support our ass-kickin' Red Raiders? These 'artists' deserve their place in supporting the true free-thinkers here at East: the varsity football team. Have you ever seen their playbook? Now that's what I call art! Ha! America!

Join me in supporting the National Endowment for the Arts for Sports. Senator Helms shall be our triumphant quarterback-like leader in a crusade to allow the 'arts' to support football, just like every other God-loving American. E pluribus unum!

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