Newman: chief editor, founder, publisher and main distributor of The Underground. The one responsible for this website, and the one talking about himself in the third person right now. He revealed his identity in issue 11.5, Mr. Hays revealed it in front of the student body at the Senior Awards assembly, and the Cardinal News published it complete with a picture in their last issue, but it's not like it was a big secret by then, thanks to Calculus teachers that talk too much, word of mouth, and his own tendency to wear a t-shirt with Wayne Knight of Seinfeld on the front and the words "Hello, Newman" on the back. Despite being killed after issue five by Lee Jeff Pertl's poisoned chocolate sprinkle donut, he continued to publish 12 more issues, returning from the dead as the Ghost of Newman. The ghost is still said to haunt the Secret Toilet Room, and although the room's been cleaned up a bit, it is rumored that there is a copy of every issue of The Underground in one of the toilets.
|The infamous picture of Newman in the Secret Toilet Room.|
In case you haven't mastered that "back" button yet.