"Hello, I'm Famous. Would You Like To Sleep With Me?"
Throughout the six months of The Underground, I've written headlines on such celebrity sex scandals as Marv Albert and Bill Clinton. As smut-ridden as The Underground has been, however, it has paled in comparison with the "real" newsmedia when it's come to stories about who told whom to touch his whatever.
Simply put, 1997 was the year of sex, and 1998 is picking up right where it left off. From sexual harassment in the army to Bill Clinton's "Washington Monument" being propositioned to every woman in Washington D.C. to Ellen "coming out" to Marv Albert's panties, America is obsessed with anything related to genitalia. Perhaps that's why The Underground has been so popular.
So are people simply sleeping around more, or are the media, looking for anything to feed this celebrity-obsessed culture, simply focusing on the pants of America's superstars? Hell, I dunno. But to fuel the fire, I've provided all of you with your own "Build-your-own-sex-scandal" generator. Mix and match to create your own headline for your periodical or TV news magazine.
Back to Issue 13