By Newman
For the past four years, one of the most interesting characters and biggest pains-in-the-ass to administrators here at Wauwatosa East has been Brian Eisold. Last week, I decided to peer into the mind of Mr. Eisold, and in doing so, discovered that he's not that bad of a guy after all. And I'm not just saying that because he sponsored this issue.

Yes, the fact that Brian gave me 20 one-dollar bills the day before our interview had no impact at all on The Underground's deciding to run a story about him in this, the very issue he is sponsoring. And the fact that he gave $20, when only $13 is needed to sponsor an issue, thus sponsoring an issue and a half himself, had no bearing at all on the fact that I am writing this very complimentary article about him.

Brian salutes the students of East.

Anyway, Brian works as a server and cook, five days a week from 10 P.M. to 6 A.M. at George Webb's on 122nd and North, making the money that he used to sponsor this issue, which of course is definitely not the reason I'm writing this feature. He makes quite a bit in tips, believe it or not, and even recently had a customer who actually put his tip down his apron. He is still annoying his fair share of customers though, and once, a potential customer walked in, saw that Brian was working, and walked right back out again.

One of his favorite pastimes, however, is annoying our friendly administrators here at East. In fact, on the day the interview was conducted during 5th hour, Brian had already been sent to the office twice. He is one of Mr. Hays's biggest pet peeves, and Hays wouldn't even let him go on a recent band trip, saying that he "wouldn't properly represent Tosa East." Brian doesn't claim to have any problems with Mr. Stroud though, saying that he's got Stroud "around his little finger," and he refuses to recognize Mrs. Engl as an administrator, because she's still "just his mom to him," after their long-term band relationship.

Brian annoys yet another female student.

Now, I'm sure all you girls are wondering the same thing right about now: Is Brian single? Well, he says that he's got a girl from West that he's fooling around with, although she doesn't want a relationship. He says, however, "Brian needs more women," so ladies, you might have a chance after all! And believe you me, Brian is quite a catch; and not only because of his riches, some of which he so generously gave to The Underground, although that's certainly not why we're doing this.

Asked if he had a final message to the students of East, Brian replied, "Big Brother is watching you," referring to the excellent book 1984 by George Orwell that you should all read, just as soon as you've memorized all the issues of The Underground. If you need Brian, you can probably find him in the office awaiting disciplinary action during school hours, or at Webb's after hours, working hard for the money that is needed to make 200 double-sided copies of an issue of a certain newspaper, which most unquestionably cannot be bribed into writing an article about someone.

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